are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
