Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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