Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
