I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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