I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
