he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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