I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
