Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
