i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
