That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
