If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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