You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
