Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
