hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
