I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
