just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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