so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
