Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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