I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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