I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
