last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
