I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
