I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
