The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
