i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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