they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
These tits shall not be calmed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
