I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
