So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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