FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
