It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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