AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
