Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
