ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
