I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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