I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
