You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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