I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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