In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
this beer tastes like vomit already
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
