he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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