I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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