butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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