i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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