I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
