she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
