I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
