She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
