they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
