I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
