I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
