Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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