I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
