we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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