...so i touched it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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