Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
