My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
